From high standards to bored indifference
Photo: Orchid Chakma
Photo: Orchid Chakma
Some of us were given the designation “doctors” or “engineers” at birth, while others had some freedom in choosing their own poisons. Still, it goes without saying that most of us had high ambitions as children.
I dreamed of becoming a chemist someday. There was something intriguing about the cartoonish image of a scientist with tousled hair and a lab coat comically detonating brightly colored chemicals. Unfortunately it turns out that chemistry is not for me.
The fact is that as children we know next to nothing about how the world works. Yes, some people set a goal at age 10 and kind of stick with it, but let’s be honest, many of us never imagined that we would be where we are now.
As we get older, our vision of what we will be can change several times.
Maybe you were told as a kid that you could be anything you wanted to be, but now all of a sudden “fine arts” aren’t paying well and you’re not allowed to study that. So you’re thinking, do you hate math or biology, and you find yourself in an oversaturated field that has a high probability of leaving you unemployed after graduation. Either way, you probably hate your field and, by extension, hate yourself.
At some point, your dream university will change until it’s just one you can realistically get into. Perhaps at some point the concept of a “dream university” has faded to just a fevered dream.
You watch your grades drop until you step into dangerous territory. Her exam preparation has changed from repeating twice to “God please help me pass and I will clean up next semester”.
Somehow you get over it. Next semester, however, your exam strategy is once again pray or cry.
You tell yourself you’re not the most ambitious person, knowing this is a feeble attempt at self-consolation.
The big ambitions that once made you feel like you could conquer the world are nowhere to be found. That’s okay, though, because you only worry about it every few years.
Ultimately, however, we do not define ourselves solely by our services. We are human and we have much more to offer the world than weary heads and broken dreams. But we’ll get to that after the end of the exam season.
Zabin Tazrin Nashita tries her best to win the affection of the cats on her campus. Help her win her over at fb.com/zabintazrin.nashita